Stop. Stop it right now. I’m doing it. You’re doing it. And we are driving ourselves crazy! It’s the Season of Peace. Not the Season of “Please.”
You CANNOT please everyone.
But we all keep trying! Do you feel overwhelmed? Stressed? Like nothing is good enough?
I have come to the realization that I have been operating in complete B mode. The hubby and I are fighting. I said something totally rude to my friend today. And I’m doing my, “I’m stressed so I’m shutting down” thing. And I know EXACTLY what I’m doing wrong. I’m trying to make everyone happy. And in the process, I’m making everyone miserable, especially those closest to me.
Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate this time of year) is “based” on traditions, right? Well in our family (my side of the family) we are having to make new traditions. We lost my Dad at Christmas 2 years ago. It’s hard to just do things the way we always did because it reminds us of Dad. Also, it’s hard to let go of some of those traditions, at least for me, because it reminds me of those good memories of him and of being a kid.
So to really throw a wrench in our traditions is that we’re celebrating at our house for the first time. I admit I was really having anxiety about having the holiday at OUR HOUSE. Oh GEEZ! Everything has to be cleaned. Do this! Do that! Don’t get me wrong, I an so thankful I don’t have to travel. I’ve been traveling for the last 15 years. But. I knew. I was going to have to somehow make everyone happy. How am I going to incorporate both sides of the family without hurting someone’s feelings? Or someone thinking what we are doing is stupid or not right? Or dumb? Or 1-sided? Or… Or… The list goes on.
I was sitting at work all morning with not much going on. I’ve been thinking about the 2 big blow-out fights Ben and I have had, the tears I’ve shed missing my dad. I’ve been thinking about what’s really important to me and why am I really so upset. And when I take a step back and think about it. I don’t really care what day we open presents. I don’t really care what we eat for dinner. I was merely worried about snarky comments and making sure everyone has exactly the Christmas he/she wanted. Why? Because I’m trying to make everyone happy. But I just couldn’t seem to make everyone else happy without sacrificing something, somewhere. And in the process I’m making my hubby miserable, my mom uncomfortable, I’ve been cranky and rude, and torturing myself. I finally realized what I need to do: DON’T worry about it! We are all going to eat. We are all going to open presents. (And not everyone in the world is that fortunate!)
If ironing every single wrinkle out of the tablecloth and fixing huge traditional meals meant my dad would walk through the door. Great! Then let the stress-fest begin. But I don’t think it’s going to work out that way. And since he’s been gone, my outlook on things has been very different.
I want to catch every single moment I can with the people I love. Because one day my loved one may be gone. Or I may be gone. I don’t want the remaining memories to be of stressful times.
So let’s stop trying to over analyze everything and beat ourselves up over nitty gritty details. I’m going to do more smiling and hanging out, rather than worry about what casserole to have and if the ceiling fan is dusted. I’m going to spend every minute I can enjoying my mom and watching her enjoy her grandson. I encourage you to do the same with your family. This special time will come and go, with no do-over. I encourage you to catch it and enjoy it!
Merry Christmas! ❤️??